Pregnancy Is Beautiful(ly Weird)

You know that “pregnant glow” you hear people talk about? I can’t find it. I think I’m experiencing a pregnancy eclipse or something. Glow? Hot flashes, vomiting, expanding, headaches, constipation, sleeping (a lot), spider veins, mucus, joint pains, and cankles are not my idea of a glow.

We need to pause. Pregnancy is beautiful. It really is. Making a little human and watching it grow from a peanut to watermelon is pretty fascinating. What a woman’s body does in order to house another human is incredible. Like, did you know that our volume of blood increases by 50%?!

Back to the weirdness. Supposedly this “glow” is due to in part to that increase in blood as well as sweat glands. So, hold up, blood and sweat mean I’m glowing? Still experiencing that eclipse. Instead of glowing I’m buying more acne products and deodorant. It feels like I’m 15 all over again! To add to this illustration, I had to get braces a month ago in order to have a future dental procedure. I already had people asking for my parent’s consent and giving me school passes for doctor’s appointments. Talk about stares and whispers about the pregnant teenager.

There is a creature inside of me that wiggles constantly and feeds off of me. Tell me that’s not weird.

TIP: Marry a guy who will give you foot rubs, cleans the house, and would think you were beautiful even if you were permanently disfigured after being mauled by a bear.

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